She can’t say it was the dog,

but she can blame it on her brother.

After lunch, #s 2-4 were outside playing while #1 was still at school. #5 was still in the highchair, babbling and playing with his bib. I went to the computer to check on my email while there was a "quiet" moment.

I had been hearing a crinkly sound coming from the direction of the kitchen, but I just assumed that one of the kids had given T a baby toy. After a couple minutes, the sound registered in my brain, and I started thinking about how the highchair was pretty close to the counter, and I wondered if there were any papers within reach.

I got up to go check and found T with a crumpled piece of paper… he was chewing on part of it, and the rest of it was being held in his tight little fists. After I finally released the death-grip, flattened out the paper, and dug several soggy wads out of his mouth, I found that he had been eating #1’s homework.

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(He must have been dragging his heels because George Lucas missed out on a good actor… Zacchaeus got a haircut this morning. He no longer looks like an Ewok, but he is still a handsome little guy! To celebrate his last night with the lion ‘fro, he and I made a groovy dance video. Watch it for some easy chuckles!)

Science Class

Research

We may not have four of them like our bovine friends, but after my five little monkeys, I’ve learned some interesting things about human stomachs… at least where my kid-humans are concerned.

Problem

My kids are too full for dinner but are plenty hungry for dessert.

Hypothesis

Young humans have two stomachs.

Project Experimentation

Most recent case in point: This afternoon Blessings #s 3 and 4 were both too full to finish lunch. I wrapped partially-consumed sandwiches in plastic baggies so that their food wouldn’t be wasted. Yet, these two moanin’ groanin’ can’t-ever-eat-another-bite-ever-ever kids were immediately quite hungry for a cinnamony-sugary-twisty treat from the Costco snack bar. I questioned how this was possible, commenting on their lunches that I had just set aside for later.

#3 matter-of-factly stated,

Our lunch tummies are full,
but our churro tummies
are not.

Project Conclusion

Young humans have two stomachs. These two stomachs coexist yet are functionally independent. It is for that reason that, though they absolutely cannot finish their veggies, children always have plenty of room for cookies.

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Breakfast Banter

As the kids were moving like molasses this morning, I made a batch of cinnamon toast for breakfast. (Fast to prepare and gobbled up quickly!) After it was out of the oven and the kids had started eating, I turned and started on the dishes. It wasn’t much later when I overheard this delectable breakfast conversation.

Blessing #3 (Of course! Who else??): I like this toast. It’s sprinkley toast. It looks kinda black and white. Like bird poop! This is bird poop toast. I’m eating bird poop! (big grins) It tastes like bird poop! Mmm-mmmm… it tastes yummy. Yummy bird poop! (grins and giggles)

Meanwhile, Blessing #4:
Moma… Moma… Moma… Lookie, Moma… (I turn to answer her. She’s holding her cinnamony-sugary finger out for me to see.) Moma, look at my bird poop!

I guess it only makes sense that my cinnamon toast would look and taste like bird poop… it's fitting since my soup smells like legs!

Freckled Kitty

After breakfast, #s 1 and 2 were getting on their shoes. #1 got these hot-pink Hello Kitty Crocs (Though, seeing as they are from Payless, I suppose they’re not truly Crocs.) Well, Little Fireball (a.k.a. Blessing #3) poked on those new hot-pink Crocs with a newly-sharpened pencil. “Foam” shoes + sharp pencil = permanent pokes. Suffice it to say that Hello Kitty now has freckles.

Welcome to My Trashcan. Now Scram!

Blessing #5 has started to belly scoot! He lifts up his bottom, brings his knees in, and pushes forward. It looks a lot like a caterpillar crawl. Or like Slimey on Sesame Street. Hmm... I wonder... does that mean I'm like Oscar the Grouch?!

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Check out this unsolicited recommendation for my blog--

That's awesome, Billy Mac. Thank you!

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Whereas Murphy’s Law might say “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong,” Monkeys’ Laws say…

1. If your daughter spent the first 2 years of her life screaming and hollering during every bath she ever got (beginning at the first sight of water and ending only when water was completely out of sight), the mystery switch in her little toddler brain will instantly flip, and she will begin crying because she wants to take a bath… and then cry some more when her shower is done. But at the same time, she will most definitely fall to the floor in a tantrum and shriek if she sees a washrag after mealtime.
   
2. If you have a brand-new bag of goldfish in your daughter’s backpack, your son will undoubtedly get it out and open it and proudly say, “Look at this, Ma”… ten minutes before you are headed out the door to drop your daughter off at school with her now-compromised kindergarten class snacks.
   
3. If you are at the grocery store, your baby will not stay awake for the three minutes it takes to walk out of the store and to the car, but will instead fall asleep as you are leaving the check-out line… thus ensuring that the baby will be woken in transfer from cart-seat to car-seat and will not go back to sleep, but rather, will cry inconsolably until you are back home.
   
4. If you go to school to pick up your kindergartner, and if you roll down the car windows so your other children can have fresh air while you walk up to meet her as she leaves her class, your son will magically transform into Bo Duke and your Suburban magically into an orange Dodge Charger and said son will have broken three previously discussed rules-- he will take off his seatbelt, will climb over the back seat, and will climb out the car window-- to come follow you… but he will only do this after you have already made it to the front of the school.
   
5. If, right at lunchtime, your sandwich slips from your goofy fingers, it will not fall onto a plate, or onto the counter, or even onto the floor. Rather, it will fall into the kitchen sink… and undoubtedly into a cereal bowl full of dirty dishwater.
   
6. If you are running late to pick up your first-grader, and you have finally gotten all children loaded into the car so you can leave, you will see an empty carseat and realize that you’ve left the baby asleep in the playpen… but only after you’ve locked the front door and your keys are already in the ignition.
   
7. If you are in the front yard, your 3-year-old will open the front door, fully clothed, and holler, “Mo-omm!! I need you! I just went poops in the potty, and I want you to come in so you can wipe me!”
   
8. If you are in the front yard, your 3-year-old will open the front door, completely naked, and come out into the yard, saying, “Mom, I didn’t want to wear my clothes, so I took them off.” He will also, unbeknownst to his mother, answer the front door in the same manner… to which the newspaper girl will respond, “I’ll come by later.”
   
9. If you are inside the house, you will hear the muffled cries of your 3-year-old in the front yard, saying, “Mo-om!! I’m alone on the porch! I need to come inside!” And then as you unlock the front door to let him in, you try to figure out how he got out there to begin with? Hmm… and that question will obviously drive you crazy because you will probably never get a straight answer out of the kid.
   
10. If you take your children to an always-unoccupied playground, the minute you unload from the car, a line of 30 kids will cross the street in front of you, following their teacher, and they will overrun the toys… and then you will, with a big sigh from yourself and a bunch of groans from your kids, reload into the car to go somewhere else... and that somewhere else will probably be home.
    
    

    And when Monkeys’ Laws are in effect, and they certainly always are, Murphy’s Law dictates that, today, 9 of the 10 will occur.
    
    

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9-11-01

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I am totally a soccer mom now… I just need my bumper sticker to prove it! I might not deserve a sticker for my car, though, since I’m not getting a guilt trip over my lack of involvement in the whole soccer “association.” I think if I hear someone (read this as: one who has already done so and likes to mention it quite often) say “steppin’ up” one more time I might completely lose it and laugh in the face of the said sayer… instead of behind said-sayer’s back! Maybe if said-sayer volunteers to transport my five kids to and from practices and games, and he or she (yes, there are two said-sayers) also volunteers to occupy, entertain, and care for my five kids during such practices and games, I might have a little more free time to give back to the “association.” So, maybe rather than a “Soccer Mom” sticker, something like “My kids and my registration fees go to soccer!” would better suit my bumper!

Enough of that little blurb, but still on the subject of soccer… my girls rocked! They had a great time and did awesome in their games! I was so proud of them. Too bad Daddy missed out on it. Overall, it was like a six-hour ordeal adventure. Since N was working yesterday (*sniffle* and today and every day this week *sniffle*), I was all on my own. We left the house just before 10am. I figured we’d be way too early for the 11 o’clock game. But it gave us time to get there and get unloaded (that in itself was an ordeal… I’m pushing the big double stroller holding #s3 & 4, carrying the five-hundred pound duffle bag (with lots of water, lunch, clothes, team snacks, etc), and wearing #5 in the kangaroo pack. All the while, #s1 & 2 are being put to work carrying the picnic blanket and drinks for the team… and it was a long walk. I parked way out so I wouldn’t have to deal with lots of cars while trying to get ourselves together and organized.) … Of course, as soon as we got there, the kids needed to go potty, so I sent #s1, 2, and 3 in while I stood outside holding #5 and guarding the stroller which was still holding #2. By the time we located the field for #2’s game (should I mention that the map of the fields isn’t even close to being accurate?), it was time to start. L had a great game, and I got a lot of pictures, albeit somewhat fuzzy pictures!

Between games, we had a picnic lunch and the kids played on the playground toys they have at the fields. Then it was another trip to the potty and another game. M did super—so well that they kept her in the entire first half! That and also because there were only a few girls there for the game (one made it for like the last eight minutes… her mom followed the map and was in the wrong place).

When the second game ended, we trekked back to the car, reloaded and headed out. By the time we got home (after a quick stop to the convenience store to buy myself a sanity soda, as there were no mints in the car) it was already about four o’clock! And, of course, we were all exhausted. The evidence is in the pictures… Starting the drive home, #s3 & 4 were out almost immediately. #s1 & 2 were just resting… I was surprised they didn’t fall asleep. The only rested one, #5 was awake and playing… he got lots of sleepy time during the day on Moma’s belly! I, too, was wiped out from the long day, the sun, and the wind… but, even though I wanted to, I didn’t sleep. The picture shows me in my imagined wish-I-was-here state!

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Five Fun Facts For Friday!
1. I've got an Ewok running amuck in my zoo.

Heard of any Star Wars' casting calls?

.

.

.

2. Overheard in my kitchen:

Blessing #3: (in thoughtful pondering)
Hmmm... maybe God made us out of toys...
B #2: No, He didn't do that, silly boy!
B #3: (nodding head confidently)
Yes, yes... Oh, yes, He did.

3. Also overheard:

I smell legs.

Legs? What do legs smell like?

Eww... they don't smell very good.

("Legs," by the way, happened to be my soup.)

.

4. Speaking of soup, my Olive Garden copycat Zuppa Tuscano was a huge success! (Much thanks to Pinky's friend, Megan, for sharing her recipe with me!) You may remember that after my Olive Garden copycat minestrone, my next project was the Tuscana. N, who is a huge fan of this sausage-potato soup, said it was a winner... he even thinks it's a little better than Olive Garden's! If you, too, enjoy this signature O.G. fare, you might want to try this copycat recipe (click to enlarge).

5. (Looking into the backyard from the dining room window)

I spy with my little eye, my five-year-old girl with dark, curly hair,... green grass,... a chalkboard,... and my sweet baby boy in a rocking lawn chair...

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In case there were any doubts about my location...

I do live in a zoo,

and monkeys do eat bananas... Lots of them!

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Meme theme: three

I’ve been tagged by Alli, so here is a quick three-themed meme!

Three nicknames— Monkey Moma, LaughterThoughts, LT

Three people that make me laugh—Ross the Intern (video segments on Jay Leno), Fred Rixe (a weather guy in the area—the strong inflections in his voice crack me up every time—especially because when he ends his sentence with a really really lo-oow voice, he also says it in really slo-oow motion… I can’t really explain it. He makes me laugh, though!), my kids

Three things that I love—monkeys (and, of course, Monkey Daddy!), being a princess (I am a daughter of the King, after all!!), chocolate

Three things I hate—littering, being told a lie, when I’m running late

Three things I don't understand—no matter how early I set my alarm, one of the kids seems to wake up even earlier; why the spilled milk has to be between the cabinets and the refrigerator and why, when I am able to move the refrigerator OUT to clean up the spill, I can’t manage to push the refrigerator to IN (or why, for that matter, that same day the milk jug developed a pinhole leak (undiscovered for many hours) and puddled a half-gallon of milk in my fridge); no matter how long you wait it out before finally making the visit to the pediatrician, the child seems instantly better as soon the (ever-rising-$-amount-of-a) co-pay is forked over!

Three things on my floor—tennis ball, rubber band, dust bunny (bunn-ies, more accurately!)

Three things I am doing right now—typing, listening to the dishwasher, thinking I could use a nap

Three things I can do—play the cello (though it’s been a while) and the piano; type pretty fast and accurately; trust my gut feelings about people (I usually discover- even if it’s way down the road- that my instincts were right on)
.....On a side note, something I cannot do: watch t.v. upside-down

Three ways to describe my personality— reserved but friendly, adaptable, loyal

Three favorite foods— How about foods from these 3 places: Woo’s Teriyaki, Chapala Express, Nothing But Noodles

Three foods I do not like—refried beans (mostly I don’t like the look of them), raw onions, soggy bread

Three beverages I drink regularly—milk, diet sodas, water

Three shows I watch—LOST, Survivor, Everybody Loves Raymond reruns

Polka Dots and Princess Diaries and Jasmine, you’ve been tagged! You're it!!

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