Write & wrong

I’ve been chosen.

I received my first-ever-in-life jury summons. It came in the mail today. I got butterflies in my stomach, I was so excited. Some people *ahem* you, Mom *ahem* have served several times. Others of us just dream about some crazy trial we might someday be apart of.

With much pride, I quickly telephoned my Beloved Husband. I could hardly contain myself- “I got summoned today!” I maintained my composure, but the exhilaration was bubbling over inside of me.

BH was clearly unappreciative of this highly-esteemed duty to which I have been called. “Well, huh. How’s that gonna work? You better tell them you can’t do it; you’ve got five kids at home.”

What? The courthouse doesn’t have a free daycare?!

Surely, in order for me to do something new and exciting perform my civic duties, they'll take care of my kids, right?

After scanning my paperwork, I called him back. I kept my smugness discrete and matter-of-factly presented the "bad" news. “Having five little kids at home is not one of the reasons for requesting an exemption.”

Quite the pragmatist, BH says, “Well, then, you’ll just have to show up with all your kids. I’d bet they’d send you home right away!”

Well, okie dokie then.

“Huh,” I said. “Maybe they’ll want me the week of Thanksgiving when your mom is in town. In-laws are good babysitters. And I can do my jury duty. (Insert my ha-ha-so-there grunt of satisfaction here.) How ‘bout that.”

Yeah, I know, it was over the phone. But that didn’t stop the exaggerated shake of my head and wag of my finger.

“That’s what I’m praying for. That they want me the week of Thanksgiving. My term of service is the month of November, you know.”

I grabbed a pen and didn’t hesitate to fill out my “juror profile” paperwork. (I only have five days to get it returned, you know.) I had no more than gotten my name down-- first, middle, last- and with my best penmanship, of course-- when I glanced above at the directions.

Yes, I absolutely can follow instructions. I just have to read them first. I’m one of those people who often skips the reading in favor of doing things by common sense or by looking at the pictures.

Seriously. How hard can it be to fill out jury summons? I mean, puuh-leeze. Goodness gracious, granny. It's a juror form that the average Joe has gotta fill-in!

But, alas, there are no pictures on the jury profile form.

If so, it would have shown a big circle around a black pen and a big X through a blue pen.

PLEASE USE BLACK INK ONLY.

Oh great. My first jury summons, and I’ve already screwed up. I just wrote my best-penmanship name with a blue pen. Will they dismiss you for that?

So I took a black pen and wrote over the blue. My best-penmanship name is now in big, bold, BLACK letters.

Subconsciously, I think I may have done this purposely. Now they’ll notice me for sure.

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