Shevanigans

“Wow. That’s a really big van you’re driving.”
“Yep, it sure is.”
“How big is it?”
“Holds 15 when the back seat is in. Right now, 11.”
“Where are you headed in that? To work?”
“Home. Or maybe the library. Or maybe both.”

Leaving the drive-thru, my brain slowly awakening as I sipped my drink, I realized that I had answered his question but not really answered his question. Yeah, he asked me where I was going, but beneath that question was the bigger one. In that. He was really curious about the big van. And what I was doing in it.

I guess super-stretch vans carrying super-size families don’t often come by his window.

This was not McDonald’s but Starbucks.

*ahem* If you know what I'm sayin'.

Blissfully imbibing my double shot on ice, I was feeling quite energized, though I can’t be sure whether it was the instant surge of caffeine into my bloodstream or just a psychological reaction to the thrill of indulgence. Buying coffee is exciting, especially when I know that my morning splurge was purchased with a gift card.

Pardon me while I digress.

But, dude. Mmmmm…

Starbucks’ plastic bucks rock.

Leaving the drive-thru, my left blinker suddenly began to operate at turbo speed. This may or may not have been the effect of a caffeine-induced adrenaline rush to a motorized vehicle. Unbeknownst to me, my drink might have splashed out of the lidded cup and onto the van floor. But I suppose it's equally plausible a weak light bulb or loose wire is to blame.

Whatever the case, oddly enough, I found it quite embarrassing and somehow managed to make it to the library in record time, while deliberately taking only right turns.

The perfect parking spot was awaiting us, and I skillfully maneuvered the van into it, just barely bumping the front curb with my tires. The lady next to me looked annoyed. I’m not sure whether it was because I overslept and didn’t get a shower or if it was because I parked my silver beast bus next to her Yugo.

Sure, it said COMPACT CAR on the space, but, really, isn't that merely a suggestion? It’s certainly not a law. Library fines are for overdue books, not for parking lot violations. Am I right? Right.

Besides, I call the van a car all the time. And, technically, we can compact a lot of people into it. Fifteen, legally. Even more if seatbelts and actually sitting are optional.

Inside the library, Blessing #7 peacefully slept.

B#6 stretched her arms out from the front seat of the stroller in an attempt- and with occasional success- to pull random books off the shelves.


B#5 chose several tomes for himself, including one on Linear Algebra. And he’s only four. Wow, huh?


Obviously, my kids are super-accelerated.;)

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